Well I FINALLY did it. I went to the YMCA in Encinitas and did my first workout since surgery. I put on my bathing suit and it was definitely looser as well which felt good. We got there about 15 minutes after the water yoga class had already started but joined in late anyways. I must say the yoga feels soooooo good. It is just nice to stretch and relax and focus on breathing. I really needed that. After that class was finished I told River that it is nice to be back in the water again. It really did feel good. I recently hurt my knee (again) so been having some knee issues and the water just let me do whatever I wanted to do without having to worry about my knee hurting. After that class we were waiting for the water aerobics instructor to show up and apparently she called in and said she wasn’t coming. So we sort of just did our own thing. After about 30 minutes of that I was done. I was EXHAUSTED as in I could fall asleep right then and there. So about a hour and 15 minutes the first day back isn’t too bad. I’m going to gradually work my workouts during the week in but knowing how exhausted I was today I definitely won’t be doing them after work every day yet. I want to go on Thursday as that is when our favorite instructor teaches so I am going to do Thursday & Sunday for now until I can start feeling normal again.
I did go back to work on the 5th of July. The first week back was extremely hard and I left when I was tired. The second week I ended up working full time (pretty much) but I do know that when I come home I am really exhausted. I think stress really has a lot to do with how I feel but can’t really make the stress go away. I try to not let it affect me like it used to which has helped some but not a whole lot I can do to completely get rid of my stress, other than quit my job which is not an option. Not only that but then if I didn’t have a job there would be stress about income. It is never ending which I just have to realize and use coping methods. I don’t have the food coping method anymore which I have also found frustrating. Because I am now forced to deal with it differently which I know is better for me but the old habits are so much easier (as we all know). I want to eat but I can’t. The good news is I don’t crave necessarily bad things…still craving the protein type things. It isn’t so bad.
I think the hardest part right now is finding things my “pouch” likes. I have been having a hard time keeping things down. I really have to focus on chewing and eating slow as well. It isn’t as easy as it sounds. When I finally get to eat something that tastes good I get excited which I find sometimes I am not chewing well enough and/or I’m eating too quickly. So far shrimp does well. I ventured on to chicken because other fish has not done well and chicken does well but I know I am not supposed to really be eating it yet as per my surgeon. I will talk to my surgeon and see what he says. Tofu does really well and that is about it. I plan on getting some cheese to eat because I’m craving cheese and I can have it. Light string cheese is on the grocery list!
I really thought I was prepared for this but honestly it is much harder than I had imagined. I know some people have a easier time and then there are others that have a harder time than even me. Yes, there are days where I think “what have I done to myself”. Those aren’t necessarily thoughts of regret but mostly of “wow this is hard and am I ever going to get past this stage”. I know this is not reversible and this is a decision I chose. I’m sure a year from now I will say it is the best thing I’ve ever done but again this stage is really hard. A year from now it will be hard but I am guessing it will be a bit easier as I will know what I can and cannot eat. Right now I have a very small list of what I can eat and a year from now it will be much larger. I must say I didn’t imagine losing as much weight as I have post-op. Since surgery I’ve lost a total of 40 pounds. That is 40 pounds in not quite 5 weeks! That includes several plateaus in there and also 3 weeks of PMSing (sorry if it is too much information). Yes, that is right my hormones are whacked out to the max. But I’m still somehow losing. It took me about 11 months to lose 77 pounds pre-op so I was comparing the pre-op versus post-op weight loss thinking I’m already halfway to what I lost pre-op. That is amazing! So I am down 119 pounds from my highest weight in May of 2010.
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| My highest weight at 579 |
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| 119 pounds gone from highest weight |
I can feel the difference now. My knees (prior to my injury) were in pretty good condition. But now I hurt one and so they aren’t feeling so great. Everyone can see a difference in my face and many people say my upper body (neck, shoulders, etc). I can tell by the way my clothes fall off me now or they are really lose when they used to be tight. I fit in my truck differently and the seat belt has a ton of slack whereas before it barely went on. So many things already and I’ve really just begun. In about 71 pounds from now I will be at my halfway point. Honestly pretty amazing it is that close. J I've included my before & after. What do you think?
