Struggles Won't Hold Me Back

Total Weight Loss: 212 pounds
Post-op Weight Loss: 135 pounds
Pounds left until I reach MY personal goal: 167


Not much to report. My weight loss is coming off. I am exercising. I am being a good girl or at least trying. I am in the process of experimenting with new recipes. I'm bored with the same ol' thing and there are so many things I can eat so it is time for some variety. 


I'm still working up the courage for a personal trainer. Not sure why I am so scared. I am trying to reach down inside of me to see what the real blockage is but I can't find any answers. I think I do really baby my knee and have a fear of having someone damage it more. But I am going to start with going to the doctor and see if physical therapy is the answer or if it is beyond physical therapy. There are lots of knee issues going around my family right now. Mother-in-law had knee replacement in December, my Mom is having knee replacement in April (waiting for insurance approval) and my husband is more than likely going to have to have orthoscopic surgery on his knee. It isn't fun! But alas it is what it is and I will deal with it as it comes.


I do know that a personal trainer will get me more aligned with where I need to be. So my goal is to schedule appointments with a few personal trainers to meet with them by the next time I write my next blog. I think my legs are really lacking in so many ways. I absolutely hate the way they look and I feel like they aren't quite as strong as they should be. I also think my core is a bit weak as well. So I know a trainer will get me on the right path. As Nike says I just need to "Just do it". 


I feel like my health is really strong though. No major incidents of getting sick (knocking on a big block of wood). Prior to surgery I would catch things fairly easy but as of now all things have been avoided. My husband has been sick twice since my surgery and I haven't caught either of them. I am so very grateful for my health in that way. 


I am having a hard time taking my vitamins which I feared prior to my surgery. They do have a vitamin that is powder that I put in my water and drink it like it is crystal light so that has been very helpful but I don't always remember about that. My multi-vitamin and calcium are chewables because I don't swallow pills well. Plus it gives it a bit of flavor and some change. There are other vitamins I do have to swallow and I dread it. I find I do better during the weekend but the weekends really throw me off. As usual... the weekends throw me off in a lot of different areas. But I am definitely working on it.


If anyone ever says weight loss surgery is "easy" they obviously haven't ever experienced it. I hear people say it all the time and it really upsets me. I guess it is hypocritical because I used to think it was the "easy way out" myself. But in no way is it easy. It is a lot of hard work and dedication. You have to mindfully plan ahead to make sure you are getting the proper nutrition (vitamins and protein specifically). I've also heard people say that weight loss surgery is for "lazy" people. That really gets my blood boiling. I literally work my ass off with my workouts and in no way am I lazy. Not just the workouts but all of the planning as I mentioned above. I'd say weight loss surgery is harder than any "diet" I've been on. But I also know it is because this is a lifestyle change and lifestyle changes are very hard because you have to break those old habits. But I do understand it is easy to judge without having gone through the process or even done research on the process. Most people are ignorant when it comes to weight loss surgery and don't know everything that is involved. So I like to give people the real truth and educate them. Maybe I can change someone's mind. Not to have surgery but to admit that it isn't the easy way out and that weight loss surgery patients are not lazy.


To wrap this up life is good. I have some struggles that I'm working on but nothing in life is easy. I will get through it one way or another. I appreciate the support all of you give me, it definitely helps me to get through some of the harder times.

I've made it to the 150+ pounds lost mark! Feeling "free"!

I am feeling free today. I am freed in the fact that I don’t have to worry about over eating. So many people get worried about holidays and what they are going to eat or if they are over eating. To me it is just another day. Another day where I will eat very little and make good choices because really I have no other choice. I am liberated by that. No more thinking oh I shouldn’t have that but maybe a bite of this and oh I will eat that and then eat veggies and then that will cancel that out. As much as this is a struggle there are many positives to having this surgery. This is definitely one of them.

I stepped on the scale this morning and almost cried, alright I did cry. This is a real reason to celebrate. I’ve lost 151 pounds total. Oh My Goodness! It is finally hitting me that I am really doing this. That is a lot of weight. There are many of you reading this that weigh less than 151 pounds. I’ve lost an adult and I’m so proud of myself. This is the biggest accomplishment of my life. Really… that is a huge number. Don’t get me wrong I am still very humble and I know I still have a long road ahead of me. But wow! So today I celebrate life and being freed from the 151 pounds and being freed from food consuming my life. Oh…and let’s not take the glory away from my surgery. I’ve now lost 74 pounds since surgery (12 weeks tomorrow).

I now use food for nutrition only. I don’t think about food like I used to. I don’t crave the things I used to crave (sweets). I crave a big shrimp salad which I can’t have. Although I can have the shrimp but not that salad. At least not yet. I will be able to eat my shrimp salad eventually it just won’t be a BIG shrimp salad. It is amazing knowing how little our bodies do really need. I barely eat anything but yet I am still surviving. All of us shove our bodies with food that isn’t necessary. I watch other people eat now and know that I wasn’t the only one. I see most everyone around me shoving their bodies with “crap”. Stuff they don’t need. Portion sizes that are ridiculous. I used to be one of those people. Have you noticed some people eat “crap” but yet they don’t gain a pound. They either exercise a lot or their body just metabolizes things differently. I know my body if very lethargic in metabolizing food. Hopefully that will change. I have a suspicion that my thyroid nodule really is affecting me more than I thought (prior to surgery). I am sure it is affecting me now too but since I don’t hardly anything of course the weight is coming off. But it will be interesting to see what happens when I do have the thyroid nodule removed.

You know what delicious is. Delicious is a protein shake my husband just made me. It is vanilla protein with ice and some fruit. Blueberries, strawberries and bananas. All very delicious! I worried about the sugar but I’ve had fruit smoothies a few times since surgery and it went down fine. Maybe because it is natural sugar and I’m not eating a whole lot of it. Plus it is “milked down”. I couldn’t say watered down because there is no water (other than ice cubes). There is milk though.

Ok, so remember you don’t need the “crap”. Our bodies are resilient. Remember it is your mind that wants the “crap” not your body. Remember to give your body what it needs so it can perform at its best capacity. Love your body!

Shanda