Saturday, January 3, 2015

Commitment To My Health

Yes, I'm still alive and well. I sorta of went into hiding which is something I know from past history that is not a good thing to do. This last year I struggled in regards to my health. I just got so frustrated with the breakdown of my body despite losing a tremendous amount of weight. I've since realized that is the exact mindset that got me to my 550+ pounds and I cannot allow myself to go there again.

The surgery was successful; however, my mind has not been. People don't realize that having the surgery isn't like taking a magic potion and you are thin forever. It is a lot of hard work and dedication and, as I've always said, all about mindset. I've not regained all of my weight and not even 1/2 of what I've lost which is the good news. The bad news is I've regained approximately 75 pounds. I still have lost over 200 pounds which I still feel is victorious. I'm going to be realistic and say that my goal is to loose about another 130ish pounds to be at a goal that is good for me. It isn't a goal that was approved by my doctor but a goal that I feel will be good for me considering the skin I still have to deal with (and it does weigh something). Of course, when I get to that goal I can always change my mind if I feel like I can and should lose more weight but I feel like it is more realistic for me. I've come to realize I will probably not be one of those people who lose weight and become thin forever. I don't think I'll ever be "thin" but the key to me is healthy and feeling good. I've noticed in gaining some weight my knees are really screaming at me. They definitely hurt more than they did 75 pounds ago. So it is yet another reason to get rid of the excess weight. 

I'm going to be doing a cleanse starting next week for 10 days and then for additional 14 days a strict diet. It isn't so much about the cleanse or diet as it is about the restrictions and discipline I need at the moment. I know it will make me feel good about myself to be able to do this and as a benefit I'm sure I will lose some weight which will help me kick off my health stewardship, once again. I will be cutting sugar out of my diet completely. I've done it once and I know I can do it again. I also know it is very hard for me since I am addicted to sugar and love all things (ok, most thing) sweet. The other thing that will be hard for me is coffee. I'm not going to have any coffee which is hard in that it is my comfort. Especially during the work week, I love my hot coffee. I love the taste and the comfort it brings me in the mornings as I don't do mornings well. It really isn't about the caffeine for me but truly just the habit and comfort. So I'm forcing myself to get out of my comfort zone which is always a good idea although something I rarely enjoy. I do have a back-up plan which is my herbal peppermint tea which I do enjoy tremendously. I'll also have to experiment with other herbal tea flavors (please respond below with any suggestions). 

Last year I also started my own business which was very stressful but a good decision. I have no regrets but getting into the swing of things and making my own business decisions was something I didn't consider. I have a OCD type personality when it comes to my work and I am really prideful as well which acts as a double whammy. This last year, I overworked myself and made no time for me, hubby or fun. So I need to learn to take care of me and balance it all. I need to remember that most things others won't know I didn't complete. I have always liked to stay somewhat near on track for my own peace of mind and have to learn to let things go if I'm not exactly near or on course as to where I'd like to be for work. I'm a super hard worker but I need to realize I need to make time for working out, eating healthy, family, friends and fun. I sort of lost all of that in my work. 

So I am going to try to get back on this blog to recommit myself and keep myself accountable. Please feel free to email or post a message if you don't hear from me. All of you mean a lot to me in keeping accountable.

Good night and HAPPY 2015!