Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Real Changes

I’ve made some real changes. For instance, yesterday was our wedding anniversary, so rather than planning a big dinner and “porking” out (like we usually do), instead we went to the gym and did our hour workout. In the past any type of something special (birthday, holiday, anniversary, etc.) was a reason to eat things that weren’t so great for my health. The excuse was “Oh [insert holiday/special occasion] only happens once a year.” But you times that by how many holidays and birthday parties and it is more than once a year. Let’s see on average I would say that would be a total of 15 times throughout the year which is more than once a month. No wonder my weight got out of control. That was only a small contributor to my weight issues though.

I must say going the gym is much more rewarding than eating. I love working out in the water. I really wish I could do it every day. If I didn’t have life to deal with then I most definitely would. But doing it every day is way too much not only on my body but also things around the house wouldn’t get done especially during the work week. Bills have to be paid, and things have to be kept up all a part of life. I have to remember that life is about balance. Don’t get me wrong I still make time to go workout but I honestly wish it was more often [can’t believe I just said that, wow]. I am going to gradually increase my workouts maybe 1 more day a week. I think working out 4 days a week is plenty. That is about 5-6 hours a week which I think is just the right amount. I have noticed my arms changing a lot. My husband commented on it yesterday too. They are starting to get definition (minus the saggy stuff underneath). I’m also building muscle and can actually make a muscle on my arms and can actually see the muscle bump. I can feel my stomach tightening up and I am sore today in my stomach from yesterday’s workout. My legs although I can’t see the muscle I do know my legs are changing shape and I can tell they are stronger. Although I’m doing well with my weight loss and sometimes I have stalls and get bummed out, my husband reminded me that I’m gaining muscle and muscle weighs more than fat. I knew this but it is always a good reminder. I can definitely say I have gained a lot more muscle so I’m trying to blame the occasional stalls on that. This time I know for sure it isn’t what I’m eating (although I may need to increase my protein intake).

Not only has my body changed but my mind and taste buds have as well. Last night we went to Claim Jumper as that is the only thing that sounded good to me. I had their meatloaf which sits well with me (about ½ a piece). We picked it up to go and take home and eat. River was offered a mother lode cake for FREE. He couldn’t pass that up. He decided he would have a piece and we could take the rest to work and share at work. He ate a piece and gave me a bite. I put it in my mouth remembering how it tasted the last time I ate it so delicious and full of chocolate sweet goodness. I then began to chew it and realized I didn’t like it. I thought to myself, “Yuck, it is too rich and too sweet.” That was an ah-ha moment! I don’t crave sweets and haven’t since surgery. That was my biggest weakness prior to surgery by the way (especially chocolate). I don’t like the taste of chocolate much anymore. Even some sugar-free chocolate I’ve had isn’t that great to me anymore. Most of it is too rich and sweet, and then some of it just makes me nauseous. Even chocolate ice cream or yogurt isn’t that great. I prefer fruit flavored sugar free popsicles or vanilla flavored ice cream (sugar-free of course). I’ve never ever been able to say that in my life that I could care less about sweets. It is amazing to me just typing it out. It is amazing that I crave healthy foods, if I even crave anything. I can’t say I have cravings too often but when I do it is usually things like salads. I can’t eat salads right now, too hard on my system and there isn’t enough room for the protein too. I’m just amazed at all the changes that have been made, mentally and physically and it has only been 3 months.

I’ve lost 76 pounds since surgery 153 pounds total. I see my surgeon next week so I will find out how he thinks I am doing and will let you all know any updates I may have.

Monday, September 5, 2011

I've made it to the 150+ pounds lost mark! Feeling "free"!

I am feeling free today. I am freed in the fact that I don’t have to worry about over eating. So many people get worried about holidays and what they are going to eat or if they are over eating. To me it is just another day. Another day where I will eat very little and make good choices because really I have no other choice. I am liberated by that. No more thinking oh I shouldn’t have that but maybe a bite of this and oh I will eat that and then eat veggies and then that will cancel that out. As much as this is a struggle there are many positives to having this surgery. This is definitely one of them.

I stepped on the scale this morning and almost cried, alright I did cry. This is a real reason to celebrate. I’ve lost 151 pounds total. Oh My Goodness! It is finally hitting me that I am really doing this. That is a lot of weight. There are many of you reading this that weigh less than 151 pounds. I’ve lost an adult and I’m so proud of myself. This is the biggest accomplishment of my life. Really… that is a huge number. Don’t get me wrong I am still very humble and I know I still have a long road ahead of me. But wow! So today I celebrate life and being freed from the 151 pounds and being freed from food consuming my life. Oh…and let’s not take the glory away from my surgery. I’ve now lost 74 pounds since surgery (12 weeks tomorrow).

I now use food for nutrition only. I don’t think about food like I used to. I don’t crave the things I used to crave (sweets). I crave a big shrimp salad which I can’t have. Although I can have the shrimp but not that salad. At least not yet. I will be able to eat my shrimp salad eventually it just won’t be a BIG shrimp salad. It is amazing knowing how little our bodies do really need. I barely eat anything but yet I am still surviving. All of us shove our bodies with food that isn’t necessary. I watch other people eat now and know that I wasn’t the only one. I see most everyone around me shoving their bodies with “crap”. Stuff they don’t need. Portion sizes that are ridiculous. I used to be one of those people. Have you noticed some people eat “crap” but yet they don’t gain a pound. They either exercise a lot or their body just metabolizes things differently. I know my body if very lethargic in metabolizing food. Hopefully that will change. I have a suspicion that my thyroid nodule really is affecting me more than I thought (prior to surgery). I am sure it is affecting me now too but since I don’t hardly anything of course the weight is coming off. But it will be interesting to see what happens when I do have the thyroid nodule removed.

You know what delicious is. Delicious is a protein shake my husband just made me. It is vanilla protein with ice and some fruit. Blueberries, strawberries and bananas. All very delicious! I worried about the sugar but I’ve had fruit smoothies a few times since surgery and it went down fine. Maybe because it is natural sugar and I’m not eating a whole lot of it. Plus it is “milked down”. I couldn’t say watered down because there is no water (other than ice cubes). There is milk though.

Ok, so remember you don’t need the “crap”. Our bodies are resilient. Remember it is your mind that wants the “crap” not your body. Remember to give your body what it needs so it can perform at its best capacity. Love your body!